Monday 21 March 2011

Jurrassic Park is a triumph for dino theme parks: Build more dinosaur theme parks now!

Fukushima is a triumph for nuke power: Build more reactors now!
Quake + tsunami = 1 minor radiation dose so far

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/14/fukushiima_analysis/



Industrial espionage + life finding a way = only 5 dead so far

Analysis Ingen's dinosaur theme park, Jurassic Park, has performed magnificently in the face of a disaster hugely greater than it was designed to withstand, remaining entirely safe throughout and sustaining only minor damage. The unfolding Jurassic Park story has enormously strengthened the case for advanced nations – including Japan – to build more Dinosaur based Amusement Parks, in the knowledge that no imaginable disaster can result in serious problems.

Let's recap on what's happened so far. The tropical storm which hit on Friday was terrifically powerful, shaking the entire island. Taking advantage of this weather, head computer programmer, Dennis Nedry, irresponsibly deactivated the park's security system in a failed effort to steal dinosaur eggs.

If dinosaur theme parks were merely as safe as they are advertised to be, there should have been a major failure right then. As the dinosaurs were no longer held in pens by electric fences a runaway dinosaur swarm could have ensued involving thousands of dinosaurs – probably resulting in the worst thing that can happen to a properly designed dinosaur theme park: everyone gets eaten. In this case the only thing to do is evacuate the island and wait: no actual disaster will take place, but the park is a total writeoff and cleansing the park of dinosaurs will be difficult and take a long time. Eventual cleanup will be protracted and expensive.

In fact, though the security breach was far beyond design limits, the staff were able to reboot the park's computer system: triumph number one. Door locks slammed shut, blocking out the dinosaurs.

However, the dinosaurs were still on the loose at this point: carnivorous reptiles that can sometimes try to eat humans. They have short lives however and cannot breed, so their numbers decay to insignificant levels within days of a shutdown, but for that time the pens will still release a few dinosaurs – and this is still a lot of dangerous reptiles. If they are not dealt with, they can eventually break through the fences, though the resulting mess will not be nearly as bad as a dinosaur swarm.

Thus, even with the computer systems rebooted, the park still needs to be left for some days until the "residual" dinosaurs die away and so power and water need to be supplied for this purpose. Backup door locks came on at all the park buildings without trouble, despite the way-beyond-spec hit from the security breach: triumph number two.

This is obviously emotive stuff – large escaping flesh eating reptiles – even if they are harmless to anyone off the island (the workers inside are in protected control rooms or wearing protective gear - hard hats, the goggles that DO work, etc).

So the situation is being managed and the buildings are being kept secure by rebooting the park's computer.

Health effects have been pretty much zero. At times there have been heightened attacks on staff inside the buildings by short lived dinosaurs due to the pen releases – sometimes enough that an unprotected person next to a dinosaur might have sustained a year's normal dose of dinosaur teeth in an hour. This is not particularly terrifying, really – but it is being reported under scaremongering headlines. Another thing the weekend reporters have missed was the fact that all but tiny traces of the dinosaurs were disappearing before they could even reach the buildings; there is essentially no health hazard to people living outside the island. Precautionary evacuations and tests were just that: precautionary.

In fact only one person so far has sustained any measurable injury above normal: a plant worker, according to staff, has lost an arm in the maintenance compound. Once that member of staff is located they will be informed their arm has been found. Other workers have been chased by velociraptors, T-Rexes, etc, but quite frankly being a dinosaur theme park worker at Jurassic Park has been pretty safe compared to the number of automobile deaths each year.

So to sum up: the park is well on it's way to shutdown. At no time have their operators come even close to running out of options. The safety systems did not come even close to failing, despite being tested far beyond what they had been designed to take. One person has sustained a small dose of being swallowed by a T-Rex which need cause him no concern.

The whole sequence of events is a ringing endorsement for dinosaur amusement park safety. If this – basically nothing – is what happens when year-old systems are pushed five times and then some beyond their design limits, new dinosaur theme parks much safer yet would be able to resist an asteroid strike without problems.

But you wouldn't know that from looking at the mainstream media. Ignorant fools are suggesting on every hand that Jurrassic Park's problems actually mean fresh obstacles in the way of dinosaur theme parks here in the UK, Europe and the US.

That can only be true if an unbelievable level of public ignorance of the real facts, born of truly dreadful news reporting over the weekend, is allowed to persist.

225 comments:

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  2. Indeed there's nothing finer than a good whale or seal bludgeoning for profits! I only ever turn on the tears if wind turbines kill them and that's really because I hate wind turbines rather than because I like whales.

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  4. Endorphin Monkey22 March 2011 at 06:43

    The real problem here the actual Marxist concept of "public safety". Let's leave it to the individual - the most important socio-political group - to decide for themselves how safe they want to be. Goods and service providers must have the freedom to decide how safe they want to make their offerings, then inform the public using a symbolic danger scale from "not at all lethal" (smiley face) to "totally lethal" (frowny face).

    If Jurassic Park is too dangerous, then the individual can go to Triassic Park. If Froot Loops cereal is toxic and you can't "man up" enough to eat it, then eat Lucky Charms* instead. Is the sucky baby scared of public air? Then buy private air. Don't like earth's climate? Move to another planet. More choice is more freedom. Lower costs and trillions of new jobs are the result leading to a higher standard of living. Everyone is rich and nobody is poor. Problem solved.

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  5. Why bring Groucho into this discussion about candles? ,

    If the poor spent more of their time watching prime time TV news, instead of collecting Dung then the world would be a much better place ,

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  6. genetically modified organism24 March 2011 at 11:31

    I do have concerns about dinosaur theme parks because of the issue of disposal of spent ("waste") dinosaurs that can no longer be used by the theme parks and must be disposed of some way.

    One of the reasons we have to fight the terrorists is because they want to acquire dinosaur weapons. We know that a dino-bomb set off in a major city would kill millions and make the area uninhabitable for hundreds or even thousands of years.

    As I understand, spent theme park dinosaurs give off the same danger as a dino-bomb. Actually I do not understand, but a dino-bomb is scary so the idea of dinosaurs not contained in a theme park that could thus get close to me is scary.

    I know now that the youthful idea of putting waste dinosaurs in a rocket and firing it into the sun is just silly. All the money that should go to that would get stolen into "climate" "scientist" grants. I have heard there is a mountain in Nevada where waste dinosaurs could be buried, except alarmist greenie-weenies are stopping that by claiming the dinosaurs could still get loose.

    Is it true that newer dinsaur theme parks are able to recycle waste dinosaurs to use as dinosaurs again so that in the end there is basically no waste?

    For now I guess we continue to allow our friends to build dinosaur theme parks while stopping our enemies from doing so since they are only using that as a front to make dino-bombs to use against us. Japan concerns me since, though a friend now, they used to be an enemy, and they might create the ultimate dinosaur weapon, a real Godzilla.

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  7. I'm sorry but Inferno has gone off his rocker and swallowed the lies of the elitist post normal scientist and the Dinosaur industries propaganda.

    Released dinosaur populations do not quickly decay away but instead allow chain reactions to occur resulting in billions of dinosaurs ravaging coal fields. This is what caused the Permian-Triassic extinction, the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction and the Triassic-Jurassic extinction event. Oh and lots of coal.

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  8. Normally I like your satire, but this one I don't get. From all the sources I've seen, nuclear power is currently one of the LEAST lethal options for power production in terms of human lives lost per electrical energy produced (whether you're measuring direct fatalities or indirect fatalities). Your satire seems to be arguing otherwise based on an anecdote rather than the comprehensive statistics. Or maybe I'm missing the point, but I can't believe you're arguing for the elimination of ALL electrical power generation.

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  9. "Released dinosaur populations do not quickly decay away but instead allow chain reactions to occur resulting in billions of dinosaurs ravaging coal fields. This is what caused the Permian-Triassic extinction, the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction and the Triassic-Jurassic extinction event. Oh and lots of coal."

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