Thursday, 27 January 2011

Progress in Conspirology

The field of Conspirology is currently undergoing a rapid transformation. Thanks to the emergence of blogging and more recently the establishment of the Peer-to-Peer review system, researchers are publishing new theories on an almost daily basis. This can all be very confusing to the layperson, so I thought I would write a very quick and rough summary outlining the current state of Conspirology with regards to climate change, some of the recent progress in the field and where I think the field is heading.

Recent Advancements

The main advancement has been the exponential growth of computing power. The sheer amount of computing power available today would have been unimaginable to theorists of the past who had to shout their ideas from street corners to get noticed. In fact a modern calculator has more computing power than the rocket that allegedly put man on the moon. This extra computing power has led to the emergence of blog science. No-one knows how many blogs there are on the Internet (except the NSA who monitor and log all web traffic) but I am going to say the number is 15 million. It's growing all the time. Blogs have been a real help to Conspirology, enabling a new generation of theorists to get involved.

Another advancement has been the recent adoption of the peer-to-peer review system, which emphasizes a suspension of disbelief rather than a more formal evidence based review. Peer-to-peer review has allowed ideas to flourish that would otherwise have not seen the light of day for lack of evidence or common sense.

Current State of the Field

A recent comprehensive review of the field:
http://iji2.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/agw-conspiracy-20090201-1.png

As theorists of Conspirology we can definitely say "Yes there IS a climate change conspiracy happening", but we can't quite attribute the cause. Despite the aforementioned advancements in the field, frustratingly little progress has been made narrowing down the exact cause behind the Man-made Global Warming scam. We seem to be still stuck with all the uncertainties that existed 10 years ago. If anything the more answers we find the more questions we are left with.

To confound matters they keep changing the name. I suspect this is to slow us down. Last year it was Global Warming then it was Climate Change and now it's got something to do with Disruption. The worst part is we aren't even sure who this "they" are. Somehow the name keeps changing but no-one seems to know who is doing it. What we do know is that whoever is changing the name is also sneaking in references to man-made global warming in all the atmospheric physics textbooks.

Is it just part of a natural cycle?

Scientists were predicting an ice age in the 1970s and before that they were predicting warming in the 1920s. So the question has to be what caused all those past conspiracies? If we can't explain the past conspiracies how can we claim to know the cause of the current one?

Is it Communists?

Good point, but Conspirology has progressed quite a bit from it's early days where the answer to any complex issue could just be Communists. These days things are just a bit more subtle. There have been a lot of twists in movies lately and people are just not going to accept simple conspiracies anymore, myself included.

Is it HAAAARP?

No.

Where is Conspirology heading?

Nowhere, and that's good because mark my words if the field was heading for a consensus I would be out of here. Consensus isn't science. What I always say is that the less experts accept an idea, the more likely it is to be true.

What is the truth? My money is on the Climatati. But use the comments to speculate.

159 comments:

  1. You missed a biggie here!!

    Alleged former astronaut Harrison Schmitt, who was clearly "in on" the Moon landing hoax conspiracy (and still is listed as a "moonwalker" in unreliable sources such as Wikipedia), and therefore certainly knows a conspiracy when he sees one, has said that environmental scientists are actually communists. In other words, greens are red.

    The implications here are crystal creal, as I will now demonstrate: (1) Schmitt is part of the moon landing hoax; therefore (2) Schmitt is part of the global hoax conspiracy; therefore (3) Schmitt is covering up; therefore (4) Schmitt is not to be trusted; and (5) Schmitt claims that greens are red; but (6) because of (4), (5) must be false; therefore (7) the "environmentalists are communists hoax" is itself a hoax!

    http://climateprogress.org/2011/01/27/denier-harrison-schmitt-holdren-communists/#more-41165

    Of course Schmitt now heads New Mexico's Energy, Minerals and Natural Resources Department, that means as part of the "gummint" he is not to be trusted. Because even if he is a Republican we still don't know if he's a Tea Partier.

    The truth is out there.

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  2. They might be the Conspirologists themselves. They are certainly the alarmists, all of them. I can't count the number of times I've read that They said the sea levels will rise - and the beach looks just the same to me, it's not 100 metres higher like They said it was going to be. And They said we'd be in permanent drought, but now we've got floods. And They said it would be hotter, but it was cold as cold last winter. On the other hand, They could also be the Deniers, because I read that They said that AGW is a scam. Yet They are also wrong because I also read the global temperature keeps rising and the arctic ice keeps melting, so They contradict each other.

    I think They are trying to confuse me. They are encouraging this confusion and it's all because without Conspirology, there would be no grants for Conspirologists and They wouldn't get rich. And They said the only reason anyone does anything is so They can get rich (and fat).

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  3. I demand that you pay me,the great wise and wonderful David Ickey-Hickey the respect due me for exposing the horrendous Reptilian global warming conspiracy.
    1.I have PROOF POSITIVE that they warned us in code almost 1000 years ago hidden in the term algorithm-get it,huh? Al Gore and his evil plot to destroy humanity.
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  4. How will peer-to-peer review affect Monckton? The Potty Peer has no peer.

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  5. In today's world, there are billions of people, millions of organizations and companies, millions of blogs, thousands of worthwhile blogs (this one included), thousands of spiritual and religious cults, hundreds of secret underground lairs, and dozens of closely guarded private islands just offshore from major cities, with mansions and helicopter landing pads on them.

    In other words, the possibilities for conspiracies are so enormous that, if you assume a specific conspiracy exists, the statistical probability that it does exist is so great, the statistical probability alone is definitive proof of the conspiracy's existence. You can read that bit again if it helps you to understand.

    Therefore, the Global Warming Conspiracy (if that is its real name) must exist, just like the Freemasons, the Knights Templar, the Priory of Sion, the Ronald McDonald Birthday Club, and the chimpanzee's tea party at the London Zoo.

    Researching the specific details about the Global Warming Conspiracy (if that is its real name) is therefore a waste of time. In the world of blog science there is no time for research! Our deadline is always yesterday! The 25/8 news cycle does not permit it! Publish or perish!!! Now is too late! Action before reflection!

    By the way, does anyone have the website URL for the Global Warming Conspiracy? In exchange I'll let you join my own secret society. You can be member #2.

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  6. Yeah, Al Gore used his secret AlGorithm to build his time machine, so he could go back to 1824 and get Fourier in on the conspiracy. Do you think he did that first, or was it 1859 first, to get Tyndall in on it? Or maybe 1896 to include Arrhenius. You can't trust any of them.

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  7. As I think I've mentioned here before, the first Law of Conspirology is that you should always assume the Conspiracy is bigger than you can imagine. For example, can you imagine that the field of Conspirology is being infiltrated by "climate" "sceintists" to sow confusion about global warming realism? Well, actually the conspiracy will be even bigger than that.

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  8. In addition to my esteemed co-conspirologist P.O.E. Slaw I would like to add that the second law of Conspirology is the 'Law of Abundance'. Conspiracies don't cost money, there is no shortage and never will be. The notion of Peak Conspiracy is just another alarmist socialist plot to raise taxes and abolish SUV's.

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