Saturday, 16 January 2016

The Vineyards of Vostok


Photo of an Antarctic Vineyard, reconstructed from a French Vineyard proxy

Vikings fighting on the Antarctic Peninsula. Note the lack of sea ice.
Long ago the world was a much warmer place; The oceans boiled at the equator and griffin were seen flying as far North as Lancaster. Less well known are the Vikings, a fierce people from Northern Europe who travelled the world in ridiculously long boats, performing various acts that would ultimately derail the globull warming gravy train, including:
  1. Putting the word Green in Greenland to prove it had no ice whatsoever back then
  2. Setting up vineyards all over the Earth to demonstrate how warm it was everywhere
  3. Plundering the abbeys of the global warming high priests
  4. Sodding off back to Denmark when it got cold, therefore proving how hot it must have been in the first place
Reconstructing the past
The Vikings also left us a variety charts and temperature records from that era. Below is a copy of a Viking temperature record spanning approximately 1000 years. To my mind this is the kind of graph I want to believe in. I have no idea the methodology by which the Vikings recorded temperature, nor do I really care. Lets not ruin a good chart by asking questions.
Viking temperature graph

Fun fact: We wouldn't even know about this graph if They hadn't published it in the original IPCC report by mistake. The graph was pulled from subsequent IPCC reports by order of Al Gore himself, proving how sneaky and meticulous They are at controlling what They release.
So what's the problem?
There isn't one, I don't see one. The climate always changes, that's what it does. Up, down, left, right, in, out, etc. If the world was now as warm as NASA claim the Vikings would have already returned by now. As it stands the silence of the Vikings speaks volumes.
IF there is one thing history teaches us it is that warmer periods are better for mankind than colder periods. The warmth of the so-called Dark Ages saw humanity thrive, for example, unlike the much colder and unfavorable later period known as the Enlightenment that saw nothing but stagnation.

118 comments:

  1. It is a very great pleasure to see the only rational observer of climate back in action after a, cough, slight pause (or was it a hiatus).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Endorphin Monkey16 January 2016 at 07:44

    It is said that the plural of anecdote is data. Some warmalarmists dispute this, but we should listen to the wisdom of the ancients and the guidance their stories give to our modern generation. Old tales of dragons, sea monsters and sweltering arctic days may sound far-fetched, but these stories would not be told unless there was an element of truth to them. As they say, "where there's smoke, there's fire, and where's there fire, there's a warmist with a lighter."

    As well, in those days, most people took pride in their religious belief in religion and not in a religious belief in science. Our religious texts are full of divine miracles, so back then there probably were secular miracles as well to provide fairness and balance. Today, our excessive zeal to believe in "science" prevents better miracles than the occasional image of Jesus on a piece of burnt toast. The demise of the print version of the "Weekly World News" has reduced the reporting of miracles too.

    All this is obviously true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In science, data are only conceived as objects on which the researcher acts - they are nouns, things to be apprehended by the senses. But data are not entities, not nouns subject to process. Instead, a process — writing — is the data, which are not the sum of anecdotage but the anecdotes themselves. The data come to be through the process of writing.

      I theorize data as a verb. What can data do when they are no longer tied to a material existence as objects - when they are no longer things but actions?

      Butler, Cixous, Foucault, Baudrillard, Derrida, Marx, Deleuze and Bhabha understand this. Why can't the IPCC?

      The answer should be obvious to all thoughtful people, whether they live in Greenland or Grimsby or anywhere in between. Which is sort of my point.

      Delete
    2. Oh yeeee of little faith. Miracles continue for those who know shit from pepper spray.
      THE JESUS STAIN Miracle

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  3. Viking invasions, was that one of Mann's proxies? If so, we need to stick it to him, because clearly they're staying home.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Very Reverend Jebediah Hypotenuse17 January 2016 at 09:55

    That picture of Vikings in the Antarctic is notable not only for the lack of sea ice - but also for the fact that none of the people appear upside-down. That proves that Viking artists understood gravity, and that once you cross the equator to the Down hemisphere, you have to paint pictures while standing on your head.

    As the great Sagas inform us: it was not easy for the Vikings to grow grapes in Antarctica - the weather was perfect - however, the local penguins quickly developed an unquenchable thirst for human blood. Many were lost so that the few might tie one on.

    Also - We don't see anything about geocentrism in the MSM these days - although, thankfully, some serious newspapers are still running horoscopes. Make you think, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. So good to see _real_ blog science going full speed ahead.

    Admiration and thanks to Doctor Professor Inferno for yet another outstanding contribution.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow I love Vikings and I love wine! How can we warm the planet to bring them back?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The answer's fairly obvious, really - bring back dragons.

      There was an extermination campaign back in the MediƦval Period, a time when dragons abounded and the world was consequently warmed by their firey emanations. Everything changed when the do-gooder French travelled off their shores, with their fancy notions of courtly honour and saving helpless damsels, and decided to drive these poor planet-benefiting reptiles to extinction. They infected other countries with this pernicious and environmentally-unsound program, and it was enthusiastically adopted everywhere, including in the region of the Lonely Mountain.

      Result? The mini-Ice Age.

      I believe a lady by the name of Daenerys Targaryen has resurrected these noble beasts, probably through the perspicacious use of modern genetic engineering technology, and with a little luck she'll instigate a breeding program, the results of which will once more see a green Greenland.

      Delete
  7. Tide goes in, tide goes out.

    You cannot explain it.

    Tide goes in, tide goes out.

    ReplyDelete
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