Wednesday, 17 November 2010

CO2 Prevents Heart Attacks

246 comments:

  1. Fantastic news. This means I can start smoking again while changing my baby girl's diaper, right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Baron von Monckhofen18 November 2010 at 01:07

    Great news!
    I will immediately install an open-air coal burner in every room of my house. In that way, I can get the benefit of heat and CO2 at the same time!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jeremy Bonehead-Portcullis, esquire18 November 2010 at 01:26

    I have an even better idea! Humans exhale CO2, which is a great waste of a beneficial gas. I will wear a plastic bag over my head!
    However, I have one question regarding dress code: should I wear my plastic bag under or over my tin foil hat?

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  4. Who'd have thought it. Why on earth didn't someone tell all those heart attack victims.

    Next time I start to get a heart attack I'll stop breathing in so I don't expel any CO2. Will that save me do you think? Or maybe I'll simply swap my oxygen cylinder for a CO2 cylinder.

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  5. It's a little know fact that not ONE person has died from a heart attack while breathing in pure CO2.

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  6. Baron von Monckhofen18 November 2010 at 12:42

    From the report: "The result of this is a significant prevention of mortality and morbidity (i.e. death and illness). For example, two ⁰C of warming would be expected to postpone more than 100,000 deaths per year in the US."
    So 20⁰C of warming would be expected to postpone more than 1,000,000 deaths. We must do something to save those people right away!

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  7. I'm going to stick my head in the oven. Imoortality awaits me!

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  8. Aha! Did you know that all medicines have CO2, at least in traces? Here is the evidence that CO2 is good for your health.

    Of all pills, Viagra has extra CO2 molecules. Maybe it's the CO2 that gives the extra oomph!

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  9. My theory that as people age the transition into cold-blooded reptiles is confirmed!

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  10. Sledge (that's short for Sledgehammer for the Truth so that I don't have to type such a long name in the box--this saves me some time)19 November 2010 at 11:51

    GODDAMN IT INFERNAL, these carbon hating fruitloops are now trying to actively kill people by heart attack, if I have you correctly here. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! People have the right to die naturally! (or via alcohol poisoning or drug overdose as the case may be). These nutworks go one rung higher on the ladder of insanity every day--it's just unbelievable.

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  11. Dear Mr. Dr. Professor Inferno, sir:

    Some of the coyotes have been doing some internet research at the public library in Winslow, and if we're not completely mistaken, Mr. Dr. Professor Maccabee there wrote one or more of the books of the Bible as well. Well, it/they apparently got tossed out of the canon in many cases--couldn't pass the stiff Bible peer review process we assume--but still, quite an accomplished fellow when you consider the entire body of work. Even the best scientists, such as Mr. Dr. PhD McHockeySlayer in Canada, have had some of their submissions rejected by reputable journals, or so we have been told.

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  12. Great news indeed. This means that driving a fuel-efficient car is detrimental to the health of your fellow citizens. Hah! That's something I can say to those eco-fascists! My gas guzzler is an act of charity!

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  14. We all know that the communist NASA has created the CO2 hoax by their infamous misinformation movie 'Apollo 13'. You know, how they supposedly 'saved' the astronauts from suffocating on the CO2 plant food with nothing more than carton and duct tape?

    Of course, they never told us that those poor astronauts died from heart attacks caused by CO2 starvation and what we were shown afterwards were clones (or robots, I forgot). Just to make us believe they survived the NASA stupidity.

    CO2, is 'the right stuff'!!!!

    Not those weasly whimpy whining astronauts.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, and that's not all. They never landed on the Moon to begin with. Everything was filmed in Al Gore's private studio. And the so-called Apollo 13 accident never happened and the astronauts never really died, but they were replaced by clones (or robots, I forgot) anyway to prevent them from blowing a whistle. Robots can't blow whistles because they run on batteries and do not breathe and do not need CO2. That's why all robots would instantly die of heart attacks, if they had a heart. Does anybody know if clones have a heart?

    That makes the 'Apollo 13' movie a movie about a fictious accident in a movie, something like a metamovie.

    You see, that CO2 is good for your brain too. Now where did I leave my canister? I urgently need to inhale some...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dr Inferno.

    Could you please get your correspondents to RTFP. They say that it is the warming due to CO2 that is saving lives, not the CO2 itself.

    But I am now confused. Is it warming or not? The good Dr Maccabee says it is, that is why people are living longer. But WUWT is telling me there is no warming, the socialist conspiracy is just adjusting the pristine raw data to make it look like it is warming.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous, it's all quite clear. They are both right.

    WUWT has uncovered the fraud that is climate data. It is all fabricated.

    The good Dr. has simply found that warmer=better and that saves lives.

    Current CO2 levels are far too tiny (0.0038%) to have any effect. So the warming is just natural variability. Yet, as Dr.M shows, CO2 can be a force for good.

    Combining these 2 brilliant pieces of blog-science, you know what we must do - massively increase or CO2 production to save lives!!!

    I think we should be aiming for 2-3% CO2.

    That should prevent lots of deaths. And we'll get WUWT to monitor the data and make sure it's a real 2-3%.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is indeed good news. But here's another study from my good friend Dr. Peter Michaels of Virginia Tech who shows that seaweed will thrive under high CO2 conditions:

    http://www.worldclimatereport.com/index.php/2010/11/30/co2-is-sustenance-for-seaweed/

    Now, do you hear anything about this in the "lamestreeet" media? I don't think so. They only want to tell you about the bad things about CO2. The next time you hear some moron chattering about sea level rise, increased drought conditions, a lack of clean water, dieback of the Amazon, reduction of habitat for already threatened species, or the geographical expansion of diseases, I implore you to mention that seaweed will do quite well. This will of course trickle down to Sushi restaurants, rice farmers and the makers of chopsticks, enriching us all

    Just remember there are good and bad things that happen with a warming world.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Baron von Monckhofen4 December 2010 at 08:01

    The liberal establishment does everything they can to smear this most beneficial and friendly of gases. For instance, Wikipedia has an entry about the fictitious condition of hypercapnia (CO2 poisoning), which is claimed to be a danger for divers. My diving friend "Shaking" Jacque confirms it is all bogus.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Goddam great point Dr. Z. Christ, you'd think these carbon haters value everything conceivably important to the stability of the planet, over seaweed.

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  21. Do those pills have CO2 in them? I bet they do!

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