Monday 17 May 2010

Jurassic Park - why we have nothing to fear

The once commonplace saddled dinosaur

Global warming is blamed for everything. Too warm? global warming. Too hot? Global warming. So it was only a matter of time until some "scientists" blamed global warming for killing lizards. Here is the start of the press release:

For many lizards, global climate change is a matter of life and death. After decades of surveying Sceloporus lizard populations in Mexico, an international research team has found that rising temperatures have driven 12 percent of the country's lizard populations to extinction. An extinction model based on this discovery also forecasts a grim future for these ecologically important critters, predicting that a full 20 percent of all lizard species could be extinct by the year 2080.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100513143447.htm

The first step of reading a Press Release is to check the photos. Unfortunately in this case the photo doesn't look photoshopped so we can't deny the science out of hand on this occassion.

Next read the press release carefully. Everything we need to deny can be found in the press release - don't waste time tracking down the "journal reference", that's just some notes or something. Examine every sentence of the press release very carefully for problems.

Okay the first thing we can exploit is how much this all cost. They say they spent decades surveying a lizard in Mexico. That must have cost a lot. Who paid for it? No doubt it was the taxpayer. Is there even a stationary audit? FOIA anyone? Immediately I am very much opposed to this press release.

Then there is evidence that this "international research team" is far from objective. For example they seem to know way too much about lizards for their own good. It's a vested interest. I would have been far more convinced if it was a team of international car mechanics who reached the same conclusion without knowing a thing about lizards.

Also note this is a Research Team, so yep that means team science. Social networks anyone?

The Team admit to using an extinction model. I've never heard of such nonsense. So now GIGO computers are used to predict extinctions? Computers can only say what they are told by the tape operator. I know this for a fact. So one of the Team must have fed in a line of code like:

IF LIZARD THEN KILL LIZARD

Then they ran the program in a LOOP until all the lizards were dead. Then they blame it on global warming. I should be shocked at such shenanigans, but this kind of postnormal science is sadly all too common these days in climate "science".

The press release also uses the phrase "a grim future", blatant Alarmism. Who decides whether a world with less reptiles is more grim? What's the optimum level of grimness? Perhaps less lizards would be better? In fact YES it would be better with less lizards. Notice that the Team try to convince us the lizards are friendly by calling them "critters" rather than the cold blooded bastards we all know they are. The Team use a trick to hide a little known fact about the origins of the word Dinosaur (the trick is called omission). In Greek dinosaur means Terrible Lizard.

Dinosaurs - Terrible Lizards, Terrible Dangers

So naturally we come to Jurrassic Park. One of the key lessons Jurassic Park taught us was that dinosaurs are notorious killers. They gang up, chase after cars and have even learned to open doors. Certainly we do not want them returning. A future with less dinosaurs will be far from grim.

How many dinosaurs exist today? If you exclude alligators and Reptilians then there are probably none. But remember a key lesson from Jurassic Park was that Life Will Find A Way. There are things about Intelligent Design that science doesn't yet understand and it's just possible that a pair of Sceloporus lizards in Mexico could breed and produce a proto-tyrannosaurus (or worse - one of the key lessons from Jurrassic Park is that there are as many bigger and better dinosaurs as you can make sequels of a movie. It's best not to tempt fate).

You might argue that the little ones don't matter, so lets keep the little ones for our amusement and just kill the big ones. Wrong! That's a logical phallusy called the Slippery Slope. If we tolerate the regular little lizards then we'll end up legitimizing the kinda-medium lizards and before we know it a whole herd of of fully blown T-Rex will appear from left of field. And then it will be too late. It'll be Jurassic Park I, II and III all over again, possibly combined with Mad Max if the oil runs out at the same time.

So even if carbon dioxide DID cause warming, that's a good thing as it will prevent the return of the dinosaurs. I checked and SkepticalScience.com doesn't have any response to this argument so I feel I am onto something.

My interpretation. My facts. This is the kind of stuff money can't buy unless it's funnelled through a network of think-tanks.

34 comments:

  1. Perhaps the continental plates will shift due to the AGW hoax, finally reuniting Godwanaland, as the old bumper sticker proclaimed. Continental drift THEORY was unfortunately forwarded and textbookified before the rise of Blog Science.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am concerned about two things. One - Has the initial data been checked carefully? It could be that the operator who is key-punching the computer cards containing the data may make a typing error, placing a "0" where a "1" should be. Maybe the deck of punched cards has been dropped on the floor, picked up hastily and then fed through the card reader in the wrong order. And what about the hanging chads?

    The other problem is with the lizards themselves. They do not have financial or real estate assets. Are they communist or something? This is alarming! I'm sure we can rely on Rush and Glenn to interpret the truth for us, so it will stand up to proper free-market economic scrutiny.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I often argue about logical phallusies with my wife. In some cases the phallusies aren't even very logical, but the slopes generally are slippery, which is definitely favorable to my side of the argument.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Michael Chrichton warned about cloning dinosaurs (Jurassic Park) and about the cliamte terrorists (State of Fear). If only people had listened to him! Then the disaster could have been averted.

    It is a great shame that he never got the Nobel prize. But he was too politically incorrect!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great post, but we must be aware of the Hidden Menace:

    "many prominent figures are reptilian, including George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie"

    That explains why Boxcar Willie sold albums - it sure as hell was not human music.

    With insight from the courageous Lyndon Larouche I can reveal:

    The DRUG-DEALING REPTILIAN THEORY. Which is mine.

    UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
    IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A fascinating post Prof. about a fascinating topic - and incorporating kicking some more final nails into the coffin of the bloated corpse of climate science while it's crumbling effigy is down.

    Perfect!

    It also coincides with a subject I'd never previously taken more than a passing interest in but have been studying for some time now, since just before lunch at least.

    Graphic scientist Neal Adams proposes via some fancy but totally true animation that the earth is growing, and shows how all the continents fit together 100% perfectly on a much smaller globe.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJfBSc6e7QQ&feature=player_embedded

    Having pondered this proposition for an hour or two using the academically recognised Sagan method and then by lucky happenstance reading Dr. Inferno's post it immediately occured to me that Dinosaurs were most likely just like perfectly ordinary lizards and insects we know and despise today, but their fossilised bones have been stretched by an expanding geology.

    Whereas previously we were left scratching our heads at the preposterous physical size of some
    dinosaurs, it's now easily possible to explain.
    Blog science rocks!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Since when is a rhino a lizard?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Arm Chair Climate Expert18 May 2010 at 20:38

    If dinasour means terrible lizard, then this means that a lizard that is not a dinasour is not terrible.

    This means lizards are certainly not grim, and are actually quite cute and cuddly. We should all stop breathing so at to avoid the possibility that anymore lizards might die.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That Godzilla-dinosaur in the second image is truly terrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Inferno,

    Your post is a tour-de-force. Not only are you across the complexities of climate science, but you are a consummate maestro of herpetology.

    This whole lizard thing has me really worried. I had no idea that The Team was involved in this as well. And your revelation that the photos above aren't photoshopped is a concern - the lizard behind the church spire must be huge.

    Why do we waste trillions on the theory of CO2 warming when there is a clear and present danger from giant lizards?

    In fact, increases in CO2 probably favor larger lizards. Perhaps this is the connection that the scientists are trying to hide from us?

    Virgina Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli should widen his probe into Upside Down Mann's nefarious grant activities to include all emails and correspondence related to lizards.

    Dirk,
    Blog Science Expert Reviewer
    62 posts to Blog Professorship

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ragged edges of concurrent but not mutually exclusive realities19 May 2010 at 04:44

    Yeah, good question, what IS the optimal level of grimness? Whatever it is, I don't think you can trust Tyrannosaurs, much less climate "scientists" to determine it. You'd get a grimness factor of absolute zero, maybe less, if it was up to these killjoys.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ragged edge of reality19 May 2010 at 05:30

    Dirk, it's pretty obvious to those whom it's obvious to (i.e. me):

    CO2 is or course, life itself. It promotes bigger plants because it is, to use technical jargon, plant food (some plants eat bugs, but they are weird). Bigger plants => bigger 'saurs. Bigger 'saurs => bigger teeth. Bigger teeth...well you see where the AGWads want to take us...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Do you see what I see? Tyran - nossaur (tyrants, no sir).

    edit: word verif sez 'disme'.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  15. On a serious note, I wrote this post before I even saw or heard anything about the following post: http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/05/13/now-its-lizards-going-extinct-due-to-climate-change/

    So the independent choice of photos is slightly unnerving...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Daganstein: "Perhaps the continental plates will shift due to the AGW hoax"

    chek: "it immediately occured to me that Dinosaurs were most likely just like perfectly ordinary lizards and insects we know and despise today, but their fossilised bones have been stretched by an expanding geology."

    Dirk Hartog: "In fact, increases in CO2 probably favor larger lizards. Perhaps this is the connection that the scientists are trying to hide from us?"

    All the pieces are fitting together...

    ReplyDelete
  17. So WUWT has come to the point that they're copying DeDe articles, instead of the other way around, huh?

    BTW, that picture on WUWT is really grim.

    ReplyDelete
  18. "an extinction model", is that a theoretical model? Like the ones they use for weather or volcanic ash plume forecasting? Then I think we know enough! We demand practical models (and bikini models, but that's another story)

    ReplyDelete
  19. hammering the final nail into the coffin again22 May 2010 at 09:14

    Those jealous soft-core deniers at WUWT are copying you.

    The least they could do is to link to you, as you have linked to them.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Marvellous post Professor Inferno! Now I remember they dug them mesquitas from the CAribbean in that documentaly by Cricton. And hwat is happening there now, I ask? THEM are driling there for dinosaurs! That's some evil plan to replace oll the cows and pigs with some diluvian monsters, that THEM has the control they think½! No doubt they will fail as "life will find a way!! Let the Professor, us and blogscience live forever! Astral student.

    ReplyDelete
  21. implicit none
    real a
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    real d
    real e
    real eps
    real, external :: f
    real fmin
    real fu
    real fv
    real fw
    real fx
    real p
    real q
    real r
    real tol
    real tol1
    real tol2
    real u
    real v
    real w
    real x
    real xm
    c = 0.5E+00 * ( 3.0E+00 - sqrt ( 5.0E+00 ) )
    eps = sqrt ( epsilon ( eps ) )
    a = ax
    b = bx
    v = a + c * ( b - a )
    w = v
    x = v
    e = 0.0E+00
    fx = f(x)
    fv = fx
    fw = fx
    20 continue
    xm = 0.5E+00 * ( a + b )
    tol1 = eps * abs ( x ) + tol / 3.0E+00
    tol2 = 2.0E+00 * tol1
    if ( abs ( x - xm ) <= ( tol2 - 0.5E+00 * ( b - a ) ) ) then
    fmin = x
    return
    end if
    if ( abs ( e ) <= tol1 ) then
    go to 40
    end if
    r = ( x - w ) * ( fx - fv )
    q = ( x - v ) * ( fx - fw )
    p = ( x - v ) * q - ( x - w ) * r
    q = 2.0E+00 * ( q - r )
    if ( q > 0.0E+00 ) then
    p = -p
    end if
    q = abs ( q )
    r = e
    e = d
    30 continue
    if ( abs ( p ) >= abs ( 0.5E+00 * q * r ) ) then
    go to 40
    end if
    if ( p <= q * ( a - x ) ) then
    go to 40
    end if
    if ( p >= q * ( b - x ) ) then
    go to 40
    end if
    d = p / q
    u = x + d
    if ( ( u - a ) < tol2 ) then
    d = sign ( tol1, xm - x )
    end if
    if ( ( b - u ) < tol2 ) then
    d = sign ( tol1, xm - x )
    end if
    go to 50
    40 continue
    if ( x >= xm ) then
    e = a - x
    else
    e = b - x
    end if
    d = c * e
    50 continue
    if ( abs ( d ) >= tol1 ) then
    u = x + d
    end if
    if ( abs ( d ) < tol1 ) then
    u = x + sign ( tol1, d )
    end if
    fu = f(u)
    if ( fu <= fx ) then
    if ( u >= x ) then
    a = x
    else
    b = x
    end if
    v = w
    fv = fw
    w = x
    fw = fx
    x = u
    fx = fu
    go to 20
    end if
    60 continue
    if ( u < x ) then
    a = u
    else
    b = u
    end if
    if ( fu <= fw ) then
    go to 70
    end if
    if ( w == x ) then
    go to 70
    end if
    if ( fu <= fv ) then
    go to 80
    end if
    if ( v == x ) then
    go to 80
    end if
    if ( v == w ) then
    go to 80
    end if
    go to 20
    70 continue
    v = w
    fv = fw
    w = u
    fw = fu
    go to 20
    80 continue
    v = u
    fv = fu
    go to 20
    end

    ReplyDelete
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  28. I am concerned about two things. One - Has the initial data been checked carefully? It could be that the operator who is key-punching the computer cards containing the data may make a typing error, placing a "0" where a "1" should be. Maybe the deck of punched cards has been dropped on the floor, picked up hastily and then fed through the card reader in the wrong order. And what about the hanging chads?

    The other problem is with the lizards themselves. They do not have financial or real estate assets. Are they communist or something? This is alarming! I'm sure we can rely on Rush and Glenn to interpret the truth for us, so it will stand up to proper free-market economic scrutiny.

    ReplyDelete
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