Picture this if you can. It's Friday afternoon at the IPCC climate lab. Dozens of government funded climate scientists are hunched around a big computer frantically feeding in dodgy punch cards. They've had it easy the rest of the year, not even wearing their lab coats most of the time, but this week is different. The IPCC report is due out on Monday and they must get those warming projections as high as possible before release.
They haven't been outside for months and by order of the administrator no windows are allowed so that noone can see outside. Some of them have left their sports cars in the open because their models said it would never snow again. It's snowing outside.
Suddenly the phone goes. One of supervisors picks up the phone. There is a muffled voice of urgency at the other end. "Auditors?!" the supervisor exclaims in alarm, "From the Internet?", "Here? ... Now?!". For a few seconds everyone in the room freezes. Then as quick as silence fell they begin scrambling around the room binning this and shredding that.
A Warmists Worse Nightmare
Warmists of course think the above turn of events will never happen. They know the labs are defended by government red tape. Internet auditors like me would never be allowed to analyze one of these labs or look at the code.
However now we are using the red tape against them. Through clever use of Freedom of Information requests and YouTube takedowns we are slowing them down. If a file is moved, did they tell us? Did they have authorization to move it? How was it moved? Who moved it? When was it moved? Why did they move it? Are the timestamps for the move accurate? Was the move logged? Who audited the logs? Who authorized the audits of the logs? Are the log authorizations audited? Just who is paying for all of this??
If we just hack away with these questions hopefully they will become so busy meeting our demands that they will miss the deadline for the next IPCC report. What we are looking for is strange file movements and procedures not met. This is what blog science is all about and we are doing it today.
Further Supplimentary Demands
For Warmists I have 4 straight forward demands you must make for transparency and QA standards. If you do not comply I will report on your non-compliance and will also consider suing the IPCC.
- I hearby demand the IPCC rewrite it's climate model in a modern programming language such as Visual Basic or Java Script for auditing purposes. FORTRAIN is outdated and inadequate.
- I hearby demand windows are installed in all exterior walls of IPCC computer labs to ensure climate scientists can properly observe the cold global temperatures and failing crops everyone else is seeing.
- I hearby demand all data files held on IPCC computers are released immediately to wordpress and blogspot.
- I hearby demand temperature records are unadjusted immediately.
- Please satisify all further demands posted by readers in the comments.