Recent Climate History

Figure 1: What Really Happened. Note the Roman Warm Period and Age Of The Dinosaur are not shown, neither is the great Submarine Warming Period and the recent 21st Century Ice Age.

Foreword

The alarmists are always banging on about risks to the climate. But they never risk their own identities, prefering instead to hide behind a cowardly system of net-anonymity. I use my actual name in everything I do online, I even publish how much I can bench press (300lb). I have hunted game in real life. I could if I had the chance kill a polar bear with a good rifle or my hands if it came down to it.

And that's an important qualification in climate science. Any climate scientist who hasn't shot their own Polar Bear quite frankly doesn't understand the first thing about the out-the-lab realities of nature. Because I do understand the realities of nature it means I can avoid pointless labish "analysis". I can just cut to the chase by focusing on obvious real world self-truths passed down through time honored rumor fueled speculation.

In what follows I will explain how recent global climate history drives nails into the coffin of manmade global warming at every turn. But first lets get one thing straight, I don't "do" dates when talking about history. For one thing the calendar is uncertain with missing days here and missing days there and competing theories (gregorian, julian etc) and so it would be biased to pick any one. Dates are unnecessary anyway it turns out. I can instead to reference history by temperature periods. So when I say "Medieval Warm Period" or "Little Ice Age" these define themselves and it's logically absurd to ask me to nail them down to a specific period of dates or to demand history to be chronologically consistant.

The Roman Warm Period

Britain is too cold today for an army to invade it wearing skirts. But the Romans did exactly that. Furthermore the Romans could only invade places that could produce wine. Therefore it must have been a lot warmer globally in Roman Times. QE2.

Medieval Warm Period

If it was warm in Roman times it was about to get a lot warmer. Without any help from man the Earth warmed up of it's own accord thereby disproving manmade global warming before Al Gore was even born.

It was a very pleasant time for everyone on the planet. The weather was great and el vino did flow. People enjoyed a level of prosperity not seen again until co2 emissions were invented. It was so warm that the Northwest Passage opened, which allowed the Chinese to sail right into Europe [1]. After a series of fierce, but pleasant, battles between the Vikings and Chinese in the warm oceans, the Vikings were victorious and claimed a newly thawed island as their own. The Vikings named this new island "Greenland" after the luciously co2-fed tropical forests that covered it.

Meanwhile in England beautiful hippos were swimming up and down the Thames and people were dancing and singing through vast vineyards covering the country. A large volume of wine was produced by England in this time causing a few arguments with France, although thanks to the warmth both countries often overlooked their differences. It was in fact so warm in England that the attire of strong hetrosexual men (such as myself) was completely different [2]

Little Ice Age

After years of prosperity caused by a very warm world, the climate decided to disprove manmade global warming again by cooling down on it's own. The world became grim and frostbitten.

The temperatures in fact dropped down so far that it was even colder than the cold year of 2008 [3]. Yes I know that is hard to believe, but all that global warming you were shovelling out your driveway last year was still not as cold as the Little Ice Age (but we are getting worryingly close and noone is doing anything about it).

When the ice hit, it hit hard. European culture, which had thrived in the warmth of the Medieveal Warm Period has never truely recovered. Noone ever used castles again. The Hippo population in London was eradicated and people had to resort to selling meagre goods on the frozen Thames. Millions died in such frost fairs. The cold brought plague, famine and war. Napolean attempted to invade europe and Hitler was born at some point. It got so bad that in one year there was literally no summer as the sheer cold caused Earth to swoop through quarter of it's orbit in a single night.

As for the Vikings, well they had thrived on Greenland during the Medieval Warm Period, but now it became cooler and mountains of ice started advancing into their towns and cities. The Vikings hastily renamed Greenland to Iceland and abandoned it as a lost cause.

Lessons Of History

Someone once said something about remember the past or you will repeat it, I forget who but the point stands. What can we learn about the global climate history I have presented?

Well to state the obvious first, history proves manmade global warming is a fraud. Man has never affected the climate in the short period of history I covered and therefore logically never could.

We also know that temperature has changed dramatically in the past due to completely natural reasons. Couple this with the fact that the climate is a self-regulating machine that resists man's attempts to change it and we see that manmade global warming is disproven.

As for risk what about the possibility that without the checks and balances of human "pollution" the dinosaurs might return? Have the alarmists even given that a moment of thought. We don't know how the dinosaurs died out and this opens up the possibility that it was due to a reduction in co2. Back in dinosaur times the Earth had much more co2. Plants were absolutely massive, carrots the size of small automobiles. Could the Waxman-Marxley bill cause a reduction of co2 that would produce carnivorous lizard-beasts the size of houses? As far as I know no so-called "scientist" has ever asked this question let alone answered it.

References ( you don't have to bother with these, you should take my word for it. I have been peer reviewed remember)

[1] http://www.1421.tv/
[2] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107977/
[3] http://www.iceagenow.com/Record_Lows_2008.htm